by Nic Tatano
Snarky [snahr-kee]: adjective
1. rude
2. sarcastic
So, you wanna know about writing snarky dialogue and assumed this was going to be some sort of instructional piece written in a normal tone.
DID YOU NOT READ THE GIANT HEADLINE FOR THIS POST?
Okay, now that we've gotten the first volley of sarcasm out of the way and the sensitive people have run for cover, we are free to discuss what has become a literary trend of late.
I'm not one hundred percent sure why everyone suddenly stole what was a traditional mode of conversation for New Yorkers, but I have a pretty good idea. The Internet. Open up comments to every article, toss in the obsession with social media, add everyone's desire to be funny, and you end up with a snarky society. No longer can one make a simple comment like, "I didn't care for the woman who sang the National Anthem at the game." Noooo. Now said comment must be snarky. "Was Fran Drescher unavailable?"
Look, I love writing snarky characters because that's the way I talk. I grew up snarky before the term even existed. Then I made it worse going into television news, a veritable clearinghouse for sarcastic people. I heard this exchange dozens of times:
Woman being interviewed: "Is this going to be in the newspaper?"
TV Photographer: "Yeah, I just carry this video camera and drive a satellite truck for the hell of it."
Let's face it, snarky characters are funny, they have an edge to them. They're larger than life, memorable; marble rye instead of white bread. And since my books are set in New York City, snarky dialogue is a requirement, even from the characters who moved there from other places. You want genteel conversation, read a book set in the deep South. You want in-your-face sarcasm, I'm your guy.
Okay, I know some of you came here to learn how to add snark to your dialogue, so let's start with the basics. You remember those smartass kids in the back of the classroom who always had the snide comments? Channel those people, but don't overdo it. Pick your spots. Snark is best served in small portions. Find a passage in which you need some snark, then take a simple passage and be as sarcastic as you can with it.
Example: Your character is on a date at a steakhouse and her entree is tough as shoe leather.
Man: "How's your steak."
Woman: "Not terribly tender."
Man: "Would you like to send it back?"
Woman: "Okay."
That little bit of dialogue may actually occur in real life, but if you want your heroine to be a spunky, take no prisoners gal, sit her down in the back of the classroom and give her some attitude:
Man: "How's your steak."
Woman: "I think I bet on it at the Kentucky Derby."
Man: "Would you like to send it back?"
Woman: "It can gallop to the kitchen on its own."
Of course if you grew up in a part of the world where sarcasm is considered rude, it might take you awhile to master the art of snark. I've given you a start, but you gotta work at it on your own.
What, you think I'm gonna write a weekly post so you can be fluent in sarcasm? Do I look like Rosetta Stone to you?
*
Huge thanks to Nic for dropping by to write such a fabulous and funny guest post.
His latest novel Boss Girl is published TODAY! So make sure you go and grab yourself a copy. I'm halfway through and I am LOVING it so far!
1. rude
2. sarcastic
So, you wanna know about writing snarky dialogue and assumed this was going to be some sort of instructional piece written in a normal tone.
DID YOU NOT READ THE GIANT HEADLINE FOR THIS POST?
Okay, now that we've gotten the first volley of sarcasm out of the way and the sensitive people have run for cover, we are free to discuss what has become a literary trend of late.
I'm not one hundred percent sure why everyone suddenly stole what was a traditional mode of conversation for New Yorkers, but I have a pretty good idea. The Internet. Open up comments to every article, toss in the obsession with social media, add everyone's desire to be funny, and you end up with a snarky society. No longer can one make a simple comment like, "I didn't care for the woman who sang the National Anthem at the game." Noooo. Now said comment must be snarky. "Was Fran Drescher unavailable?"
Look, I love writing snarky characters because that's the way I talk. I grew up snarky before the term even existed. Then I made it worse going into television news, a veritable clearinghouse for sarcastic people. I heard this exchange dozens of times:
Woman being interviewed: "Is this going to be in the newspaper?"
TV Photographer: "Yeah, I just carry this video camera and drive a satellite truck for the hell of it."
Let's face it, snarky characters are funny, they have an edge to them. They're larger than life, memorable; marble rye instead of white bread. And since my books are set in New York City, snarky dialogue is a requirement, even from the characters who moved there from other places. You want genteel conversation, read a book set in the deep South. You want in-your-face sarcasm, I'm your guy.
Okay, I know some of you came here to learn how to add snark to your dialogue, so let's start with the basics. You remember those smartass kids in the back of the classroom who always had the snide comments? Channel those people, but don't overdo it. Pick your spots. Snark is best served in small portions. Find a passage in which you need some snark, then take a simple passage and be as sarcastic as you can with it.
Example: Your character is on a date at a steakhouse and her entree is tough as shoe leather.
Man: "How's your steak."
Woman: "Not terribly tender."
Man: "Would you like to send it back?"
Woman: "Okay."
That little bit of dialogue may actually occur in real life, but if you want your heroine to be a spunky, take no prisoners gal, sit her down in the back of the classroom and give her some attitude:
Man: "How's your steak."
Woman: "I think I bet on it at the Kentucky Derby."
Man: "Would you like to send it back?"
Woman: "It can gallop to the kitchen on its own."
Of course if you grew up in a part of the world where sarcasm is considered rude, it might take you awhile to master the art of snark. I've given you a start, but you gotta work at it on your own.
What, you think I'm gonna write a weekly post so you can be fluent in sarcasm? Do I look like Rosetta Stone to you?
*
Huge thanks to Nic for dropping by to write such a fabulous and funny guest post.
His latest novel Boss Girl is published TODAY! So make sure you go and grab yourself a copy. I'm halfway through and I am LOVING it so far!